


Untethered

by sanssssastark



Series: Life After Death [2]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, In which Luke Patterson blames himself for LITERALLY everything, and it all hits him at once, and then Julie is his rock, so he punches a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28390917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanssssastark/pseuds/sanssssastark
Summary: Luke paced back and forth next to his couch, the soft light of the studio dimmed even further by the sheer fabric Julie had thrown over the lamps, the entire room glowing in the orange light of the sunset. Even that wasn’t enough to calm him down. He’d slipped out of the house where everyone had gathered, Victoria’s enchiladas in the oven, drinks flowing, a celebration, but not for anything in particular, just what was quickly becoming a normal Saturday night in the Molina house.Everything should have been perfect, except...it wasn’t.It wasn’t like how he imagined it would be, being alive again.It was...overwhelming.
Relationships: Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Series: Life After Death [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079297
Comments: 12
Kudos: 148





	Untethered

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in the same universe as another of my prompt ficlets, Does It Matter, the How? I wanted to play around with the idea that at first, Luke wouldn’t be too worried about the how's of his new found life, but after a minute, because Luke feels things deeply and I firmly believe that he harbors a lot of guilt about well, basically everything, he’d eventually have to deal with those feelings. So, here we go.

Luke paced back and forth next to his couch, the soft light of the studio dimmed even further by the sheer fabric Julie had thrown over the lamps, the entire room glowing in the orange light of the sunset. Even that wasn’t enough to calm him down. He’d slipped out of the house where everyone had gathered, Victoria’s enchiladas in the oven, drinks flowing, a celebration, but not for anything in particular, just what was quickly becoming a normal Saturday night in the Molina house.

Everything should have been perfect, except…it wasn’t.

It wasn’t like how he imagined it would be, being alive again.

It was…overwhelming.

Luke hadn’t been overwhelmed by anything in a long ass time, not even that time Julie brought his parents his song. That was hard. But even that didn’t compare to this, this feeling. There wasn’t a word for it because human beings hadn’t come up with a word for what it feels like to be reanimated, to die at seventeen, to miss twenty-five years while the world passed you by and then spend the next year and change as a ghost, somehow coming to terms with the fact that he was dead, long before his time and then suddenly, he wasn’t.

And at first, fuck, even now that was amazing. Everything was just fixed, just like that. He was alive. His boys were alive. Willie was alive. Julie was…everything. They’d finally signed with a manager, actually the first one who’d reached out, Andi Parker with Destiny Management and even fucking Bobby…Trevor…whatever…he and his money—partially their money now—got them identities sorted out, making sure no one could guess that the 2020 versions of Luke Patterson, Reggie Peters and Alex Mercer weren’t mistaken for…themselves. According to Julie it was way easier than it would be normally because they died before literally everything was on the internet.

Officially, on paper, Luke is Mitch and Emily Patterson’s nephew to a sister of his dad’s that never even existed. It’s all there birth certificate, school records, immunizations, even the high school diploma that he never earned. His parents just went with it. It was easy, he guessed, when you’ve lost a kid to not question the miracle that brought him back. Alex didn’t want to track down his parents, at least not yet, and Reggie’s were both already gone according to the LA county obituary records and Willie just shook his head, definitely in the same boat as Reggie.

And that was that.

Luke Patterson, born 2003. Died, tbd.

It seemed like it was easy for everyone.

Even Alex is, somehow, good with all of this fucking change.

Everyone was just good, except for him.

And he doesn’t know why it’s so hard. Why, when the world’s been handed to him on a silver platter, all his dreams coming true with best friends, his family and the girl he loves more than anything in the world by his side, why it’s so fucking difficult. But then again, he has never, in either of his lives, made things easy on himself.

His one great skill, in that life or his new one, fucking things up.

First with his family, walking out on his mom and dad just because they, what? Wanted him to go to school just in case music didn’t work out? What fucking terrible parents, right? And then with his boys. He was the one who suggested street dogs. Then he was the one who got them killed. And then his motherfucking legacy, freaking out about Bobby…Trevor…whatever stealing his songs and nearly getting them fucking jolted out of existence.

All of that was on him and he’s one lucky son of a bitch because none of them seem to realize that.

And now here he is again…fucking it at all up. Because it’s all okay. They’re all finally okay.

Except him.

So, it’s really only a matter of time before he does something stupid and ruins it all, if not just for him, but for everyone else, including Julie and he wouldn’t be able to stand it if he hurt her.

She had so much hurt in her life before he stormed into it.

It’d kill him all over again to add to that pain.

“Argh” he grunted to himself and spun on his feet, his fist flying up and out, landing against the wood of the garage wall. The pain, that he was used to, even ghosts felt it from the ungraceful landing he and the boys made when Julie and their music brought them out of that dark room to the jolts Caleb’s stamp had laced through their souls, but for the first time since he died, his skin tore on contact and the stinging didn’t fade after a few seconds.

Human. Alive. Mortal.

Bleeding.

Shit.

“Hey,” Julie’s voice called from the door of the studio. “There you are.”

He twisted around, his hand coming behind his back and he tried to paste a smile on his face, but there was no way she wouldn’t see through it.

Julie Molina, the love of his lives, knew him better than anyone else had or ever would.

“You disappeared and I figured you were out here,” she said, slowly walking closer, reaching for him. She didn’t even have to say a word, he just brought his arm back around and held his hand out to her.

“Ouch,” she said, her thumb ghosting over the broken skin on his knuckles.

“You should see the other guy,” he joked, but couldn’t bring himself to laugh.

She tsked at him and then let his hand drop, moving away from him to the bathroom in the back corner, the one he and the boys had been sharing for a month now that they actually needed it again.

“I’m fine,” he protested, when she came back with a small first aid kit.

“You’re hurt and it’s not like you can just heal it.” she said, shrugging helpless, grabbing his uninjured hand and pulling him back to the couch. He went willingly. He’ll go anywhere she wants him to. “At least let me clean it.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, sitting down beside her as she gently cleans at his battered skin with a wipe that makes it sting just a little. He didn’t wince…much.

Julie just smiled at him and then blew softly over his hand to cool off the burn. “What happened?”

“Forgot I can cause actual damage now.” It was the truth, though if he were being really honest, he wasn’t sure that would have stopped him.

“You’ve always been able to cause damage,” she joked and that made him laugh. Just a little.

“Yeah, just not to myself, I guess.”

“Did you want to?” The question was quiet, like she maybe didn’t want the answer.

“Hurt myself? No. I’m just…” He let the words hang there, but then she looked up at him, her brown eyes soft with concern and a little bit of fear and a whole lot of love.

Shit.

“Luke?”

“I’m not entirely okay, I don’t think. Everything…it’s a lot. It’s overwhelming.”

Julie nodded, understanding replacing everything else, except the love. That stayed right where it was and relief flooded through him like a fucking dam breaking. “You can always talk to me about it, if you need to, but…”

“But…”

With a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and said, “But you should probably talk to someone else too, a professional.”

“Like a therapist?”

“Yeah. I did, after my mom died, you know?”

“Yeah, Dr. Turner.”

“Exactly and it wasn’t my favorite thing in the world, but at the time I definitely needed it, needed someone to talk to who wasn’t, you know, a part of everything, someone who wasn’t grieving too.”

“But that’s just it, Julie. I shouldn’t be grieving. I should be happy. I should be ecstatic and I shouldn’t need any help with that.”

“You can’t help what you feel and it’s not like anyone has any experience coming back to life that we know of, so who says what you should be feeling?”

“Alex and Reggie…”

“Aren’t completely okay either and besides that, they…”

“What?”

The look she leveled at him should be warning enough, but he still wasn’t prepared for the words, sure and true when she said them. “They don’t blame themselves.”

He blinked at her, stunned, but not entirely sure why. Of course she knew.

“You’ve never been able to hide anything from me since the day I met you, Luke. Why would this be any different? I just wish…” she trailed off, biting her lip and looking away.

Panic, total panic sparked across his skin. Did Julie think he didn’t want to be here? That she wasn’t enough? “Julie, you know I am happy right? That I’m…that I am so happy to be here with you and the guys and to have a second chance at….everything. That I…that I…”

He didn’t say it though. Not like that. Not when it wasn’t about just them and everything they’ve meant to each other.

“I know,” she said, whispering the words as she reached for him, her hands slid over his shoulders, her arms wound around his neck and pulled him close. “Me too.”

Relief.

“Come on,” she said, pulling back just enough to hold his face, her palms warm and soft against his cheeks. “Let me finish cleaning this up and then we can….well, we can stay out here for as long as you need to or we can go back inside and then tomorrow, we’ll find someone for you to talk to.”

“Someone who will be cool with talking to an eighteen year old formerly-dead guitarist.”

“I’m sure Trevor knows someone like that.”

Luke snorted and then let out a sigh as she ran a line of ointment over his cuts and then wrapped them lightly with gauze and a bit of tape.

“Yeah, I bet he does.”

“And no more fights with walls, deal?” She looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with humor, a smile spread across her face and he couldn’t help himself.

He buried his free hand up and into her curls and pulled her close and leaned his forehead to hers, breathing her in, coconut and lilac. They’d done this before, soft and slow, mostly, or intense and heady and desperate and sometimes, the best times, a little bit of both, but to Luke this moment felt different so he hesitated.

Julie didn’t. She surged forward and met his mouth, taking his bottom lip between hers and he couldn’t help the groan that escaped from his throat as he shifted closer, deepening the kiss, just enough for her to feel everything he felt, to know it as completely as him.

He pulled back with a light press of his lips to her temple before tucking his head against her neck. She tightened her grip on him and held him close, his skin humming in response. He could almost feel the glow inside of him, the sensation of being in this world. Existing, truly existing.

For so long she was his tether to this world.

And now he’d have her by his side when he tethers himself.


End file.
